School has been in session for a little over a week in our neck of the woods, but most school systems are opening up today (if not already open).  Kids are going back to school, parents are breathing a sigh of relief, and notebook sales just went through the roof.

It certainly feels like fall in our area.  Going outside this morning, Hayden told me he was chilly.  Haven’t heard that in awhile!  But it was a chilly 60 degrees this morning at 7:40, and to make matters worse, it was chilly AND wet.  But all the boys got off to school just fine, though we are in that area that has flood warnings and flash flood warnings, along with the threat of 8 to 10 inches of rain.  GREAT!  Not looking forward to that prospect.

I actually just ran upstairs and put on a thin long sleeved t-shirt!  While I am not looking forward to a week of rain, I do love the cooler weather.

This was another crazy weekend!  Saturday we ran a few errands (Ok, we went to Target and the grocery store.) and then Saturday evening Roy got his tattoo done.  They both turned out beautifully, and I am already planning my next one.

We also hit the local Borders since it only has a few days left.  So sad to see the stores closing, but we did get some great deals on a movie and a few books the kids needed for school - a study guide for Julius Cesear for Joe along with a study ‘companion’ for his AP European History class.  Corey didn’t have that when he took it in 10th grade, so I am anxious to see if it makes a difference, though both boys always do very well in history classes.

Sunday was a day of baking!  My parents were coming over for a visit, along with my sister, our niece, and my sister’s new boyfriend.  We agreed to host an assortment of desserts, so we planned to eat an early dinner, and they would have an early dinner too and head over to our house.  So we started early on Sunday morning. I made a strawberry cake and a strawberry chocolate brownie trifle.  Roy made his red velvet cupcakes (SO YUMMY!), and Corey made a Double Chocolate gooey cupcake.  Something for everyone!  So, I spent the morning baking and cooking - something I have not done for awhile and really enjoyed.  Then Roy and I did some cleaning, and before I knew it, Roy was getting the grill ready - Sweet Tea Brined Chicken.  Sounds strange, but I found the recipe in one of my magazines, Southern Living, and it just looked so tasty in the picture that I thought, “Why not?”

Glad I did because it was SO good! Roy slow cooked it on our charcoal grill, and Mmm Mmm Good! It will definitely be a keeper for my family. (If anyone is interested in the recipe, let me know and I can post it!)

My parents and sister got here around 4:45 - a littler later than we originally expected them to get here, but that’s ok - it was really just nice to see everyone.  I think our niece, Reagan, always has a great time playing with the boys and our dogs.

It was nice to visit with my parents, nice to meet my sister’s new boyfriend, and everyone seemed to enjoy the desserts.  And best of all - my house is the cleanest it’s been in months!  BETTER STAY THAT WAY!  (That was directed at the boys.)

We wrapped up the evening with a silly movie rental, and just relaxed!

Yesterday, we just slept in, though Dean and I got up around 8 to make pancakes for everyone on my new Pampered Chef Double Burner Griddle.  I LOVE IT!  It conducts heat so wonderfully, the handles don’t get hot, and it is a cinch to clean up!  Great purchase… really glad Roy convinced me to get it.  After breakfast, Roy and the kids chilled for a bit, I did some puttering, and then I dragged Dean and Roy back to the grocery store for some fresh veggies for dinner tomorrow night.  We also hit Sweet Frog for a nice afternoon treat.

Last night was nice - we got a treat for the kids - Papa John’s pizza, and then we just relaxed.  Kids took turns cleaning up in the bath, and before I knew it, my alarm was going off this morning.  Down side, I woke up to what I went to bed too - rain.

And now, the older boys are in school, and Dean is curled up on the sofa with Nobi (our pug).  In about an hour, we are heading out to the library to see if we can get Dean signed up for Preschool time!  45 minutes once a week where he will spend some time without Mommy - though I will be in the library - singing, listening to stories, and doing crafts.  Cross your fingers - hope we get in!

Go Round and Round!

Not sure why I thought of that song, perhaps because I used to sing it with Dean as we put his older brothers on the bus every day, and now it’s his turn.

Yesterday was meet the teacher day, and for the younger kids (elementary school) you can bring their supplies in-that way they have it for the first day, but they don’t have to be loaded down on the bus.

So, Sunday afternoon, I went through the four bags of supplies we’d bought and separated them out-Dean, Hayden and some extras I know the older boys would need.

I put their names on them and loaded up their backpacks.  

Yesterday as we were leaving, Dean and Hayden put their’s on, and Roy carried the extras for them.  And I was fine up to that point.

We drove to their school, the older boys tagging along as we would hit the high school next.  I was fine as I parked the van.  Fine as we walked into their school.

But then I saw our little boy, walking down the stairs.  His brand new Skylanders backpack strapped on his tiny shoulders, and I was even ok then.

It wasn’t until he ran ahead of me to catch up to his Daddy that I almost lost it.  He looked so small in that big hallway.  He reached up to take Roy’s hand, and his little hand was still dwarfed by Roy’s larger one.  The backpack bounced against his little frame, and I realized that this was the last time I would send one of my baby’s to kindergarten.

We met his teacher, and she seems wonderful!  Young, full of energy and enthusiastic-what more could you want from a kindergarten teacher?

And so, he found his little desk and we put his blue pencil box, and his crayons in his cubby. And then we said goodbye, off to the next classroom.

We met Hayden’s teacher-again, she seems wonderful, and he put his things up.  He and Roy looked around to see if Hayden had any friends in the class with him, while I looked over the paperwork I would need to fill out.

And then it was off to the high school.

And I saw Addi-the little boy that surprised us by coming into this world a bit too early, heading off to high school.  I had told him more than once that he has one chance to make a good first impression, and he was on his best behavior.

He said “Yes, Sir” and “No, Ma'am.” Please and Thank you.  He stood still and shook hands with the First Sergeant that will head up his JROTC class.

Roy had given him a haircut that morning, and it was a HUGE change.  Addi went from shoulder length hair to a buzz cut, and I couldn’t get over how different he looked!  Thicker, stronger, and so handsome.

We met Joe’s teachers-the last set he will have in public school, and Roy and I stood back proudly as he took the lead.  INtroducing himself, telling them what class of their’s he will be in.  He asked questions (I FINALLY know what Math Analysis is!) and answered them.

We found their lockers-though they assured Roy and I that high school students do not use lockers-and opened them up.

And then we went home.

I’m hoping I can hold it together when I put my little boys on the bus tomorrow, especially Dean since he will be the last one for us.

At least until the buses turn the corner and they can’t see the tears in my eyes.

Here in our little corner of the world sports are big.  Even Middle school sports. Making the school team is an honor, and one many of the kids take seriously. 

This year Hayden is in 7th grade (I can’t believe it!) and he trained very hard over the past year for his tryouts.

Now, before I got any further let me say that we live in a small town-the good 'ole boy network is in full effect here.  A few families are well known, and popular-they play all the sports, are involved in all the youth leagues and people defer to them-in a sense.  And that’s ok. Roy and I get that. Unfortunately, and understand it is a BOY’s network-me knowing about sports, being knowledgeable (I even coached high school swimming for a number of years and was quite successful at it) means nothing; it’s for the guys-Roy doesn’t have the time, and if we are being honest the inclination to be a part of this network. I like to joke that if he was, the boys would have it so much easier when it came to sports.  He isn’t biting.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it isn’t that skill isn’t involved when it comes to these kids. They are talented, and it seems like many of them are good kids. They enjoy what they are doing and are willing to work hard.

Soo-here in Virginia we have "Senior Night.“ Basically all that means is that the graduating seniors are honored-or in our case the 8th graders.  They do this at a home game.  The kids are walked onto the court or field or pool deck by their parents, their names are announced over the loud speaker along with a bit about them-where they will go to school, what they would like to do in life, etc.

This is to honor THEM. Their hard work. Being a parent, I know the role we play. We support them, we go to the games and cheer on the team. We drive them to practice, and wash smelly gym clothes-but in the end that’s about all we can do.  We can’t make them get out their and practice as if this was the last game they would play.  We can’t make them go to the park and play-in the cold-just to work on their skills. That drive and that passion is within them.

So, don’t take their moment from them.

Since Hayden is in 7th grade, Roy and I did not participate in the ceremony. We sat on the bleacher and cheered on the kids.  One young man is a very good player-he seems like a good kid, works hard and plays hard.  So, when he is announced, mom is on one side, arm through his. Dad is on the other side with a big smile on his face.

And mom actually start walking onto the court with a….gee, what can I call it but a strut. And I mean hard core strutting. Hard core like a pimp in a bad 80′s movie. Got the limp going, arms swinging hair flying around.  My eyes widened, because I was truly confused. When she got to the area with the other parents she sort of stumbled and seemed like she was about to break out into dance, maybe sing a song.

"is she drunk?” I whispered to Roy, because honestly that was my first thought. And now, 12 hours later, I’m still not sure.

He shrugged and shook his head.

This wasn’t HER turn for an audience-this was her son’s moment. And with her ridiculous antics, she took the attention from him, even if it was just for a moment.

See we had our time in the middle and high school spotlight-is your ego so fragile that you need to relive that? At the expense of your child?

Not cool, Mom. SO NOT cool.

I haven’t been around much this summer.  Having all the boys home, getting ready for a family reunion, and now school..it’s been hectic.  

And yet, in just a few short weeks the kids will be back in school!  And I can already tell it’s going to be a rough one-probably more so for me than the kids!

Joe is finishing up-going to be a senior this year.

And Dean is just starting-kindergarten.

Ugh!  I can’t believe it!  Corey is finishing up his Associate’s degree, and Addi is about to start high school!

Hayden is in fourth grade, almost done with elementary school!  

WHAT is going on?!  Where are all my babies?

And I have to say this:

Went to the grocery store today, and came out to find a magnet on my car.  I have had countless flyers put on my car while at the store, but this is the first magnet.

And yet, it kind of annoyed me?!  Who said I wanted a magnet on my car?  Had it been Roy’s car he would have been beyond pissed?! 

I don’t know…just never really liked the whole practice of flyers on the windshield, and now they’re taking it a step further?

Not real cool.

What? I’m sure you read that title and were surprised, but here’s the thing.

I won’t always be around to pick them up. 

I’ll use school as an example.  The kids do homework and forget it at home. I’ll take it to school ONCE, after that too bad so sad.  They can explain to their teacher what happened and ask to turn it in late.  Maybe she/he will let them, maybe they’ll be penalized, maybe they won’t, but they are on their own.

Same thing with NOT doing homework.  I am very clear with the boys about what I expect.  Roy is very clear what he expects.  You don’t do what we expect? YOU will face the consequences.  

I’m not unrealistic in my expectations.  I don’t expect the kids to ace every test.  I don’t expect them to ‘get’ every subject, but we do expect them to try their best.  If their best is a “C,” ok.  But if you get a “C” because you don’t do the homework and screw around in class, we have a problem.

Teachers email me asking me to 'fix this issue.’ Ok, I’ll talk to my kids, and if they are acting up, they will have consequences, but I’m NOT going to stand over the older three (17, 16 and almost 13) and force them to do their homework.  They aren’t hurting me.  They are hurting themselves and disrespecting their teachers, and there will be a price to pay, but I will not do the work for them.

Why won’t I push them and stand over them?  

Because, I won’t always be around.  I won’t go with them to college.  I won’t hold their hand at work. I won’t ask a girl (or boy) out for them.  Sure, we’ll empathize with them when the proverbial s**t hits the fan, but I’m not going to bail them out constantly.  Success has rewards, but failure also has consequences.

And you can either pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move forward, or you can let the failure get you down.  Roy and I will give the kids a push occasionally, but we can’t pull them along this tightrope that we call life.

The past few weeks have been crazy, though I think it’s perhaps my own doing.

I’ve been stressed about the older boys leaving, and Joe’s graduation, and the little kids wrapping up, and standardized testing, and Addi’s grades…and…lord the list goes on and on and on.

In looking at this list I’ve had running through my head for weeks, I can see perhaps the only thing that should get me a bit stressed out is Joe leaving (July 8th) and his graduation (June 6th).

ON the other hand, Joe wants to keep it low key. For their graduation dinner I tell them I’ll make whatever they want-ANYTHING! Difficult easy, expensive cheap, you name it.

He just wants Burgers. A family cookout.

Since he will be at boot camp, for about two months, and after that none of us really knows what he will need, so when pressed about a graduation gift he tells us to please wait, as he has no idea what he will need.

And though, I hate the idea of my Bean (my nickname for Joe) leaving, I’m beginning to understand how Roy sees things. As much as he will miss him, he is less emotional, or rather his emotions stem from a place of pride, rather than loss-as mine seem too.

I found myself focusing on him leaving, rather than understanding how exciting this new chapter must be for him, and what an honor it is that he was accepted into the Nuclear Engineering Program for the United States Navy!

Plus, he will be in Charleston, SC. A city I have been dying to visit, and of course there is a cruise terminal right there! We can see our boy AND take a cruise!

And I’ve been having a great time as the newest reviewer for Scaretissue.com. Can finally put my love of all things horror-movies, books, TV shows, women’s fashion (ok that last one is stretching it a bit)-to good use.  In fact, I’ve been having a blast reviewing Showtime’s Penny Dreadful.  If you haven’t see it…check it out…it’s a wild ride!

All in all, I feel like I’m starting to settle down a bit after weeks of feeling like I was missing something.

Thank goodness!

The older boys started their second semester today.  This is Corey’s last semester of high school.  I can’t believe it.  Unfortunately, our silly son put off his foreign language requirement. (To get the advanced diploma, kids can either do a minimum of three terms in one language or two terms of two different languages.) Corey did French in eighth grade, and than switched to Latin in 9th and 10th.  His schedule for his junior year was a mess, and it actually took us about a week to figure something out, but he couldn’t fit a foreign language in.  For some reason, he didn’t want to take Latin 3, so four years later he is taking French 2!  I wonder if he is going to remember anything.  He got straight A’s the first semester, so he is aware that a bad grade in French could affect his GPA.  

Joe is taking Spanish 3, and if all goes well, he will be done with his Foreign Language requirement.  For some reason, Joe has a real problem with his Foreign Language class.  I think he is like me and getting up to speak in front of the class is bad enough, but doing it in Spanish makes him very nervous.  He will also be taking his classroom portion of Driver’s Ed this quarter.  He hasn’t really done any driving since getting his permit, perhaps taking Driver’s Ed will give him the confidence to get behind the wheel.

Addi’s new semester brings a number of changes with it.  No more Science; he moves to History.  Tech is done, and he will be taking an Art class.  And no more Agriculture (which I think he took for the wood working); instead he will be taking PE.  A HUGE part of PE in middle school is simply dressing out and participating.  Addi likes PE, but remembering to bring his uniform is always a challenge for him.  I know he is a bit bummed that he won’t have Tech anymore, as he got along very well with the teacher, and he loves working with computers, but he also likes to draw, so hopefully he will enjoy Art class.  (Lately he has been telling me he wants to be a Tattoo artist part time…)

And Hayden’s school schedule will pretty much stay the same.  His teacher is on maternity leave.  Actually she had the “New Year’s Baby” in our little town!  Hayden got a kick out of seeing her in the newspaper holding her new little boy.  The substitute is actually a retired second grade teacher, and Hayden really seems to like her, though I know he misses his teacher.  I put him on the bus this morning, and he told me that he has Library, so he will get some good books for us to read.

Oh, and today we are taking Joe to the oral surgeon.  He has to get all four of his wisdom teeth pulled.  We’ll see how much damage that is gonna do to the pocketbook!

Lots of changes, should be fun!

We went to Hayden’s award assembly today-our little boy is now a third grader.  Well, he has a few more days of second grade, but grades are turned in, awards have been handed out, and this is pretty much it.

In our elementary school they have something called “The Running Club.”  It isn’t mandatory, but if the kids run a certain amount of miles over the school year they get certificates.  They also do a special fitness test with five different events.  If you  'master’ three you get a bronze medal, 4 a silver and all five you get a gold medal.  I was thrilled to see just how many kids reached these benchmarks.  

This was just second grade mind you-I would say about 100 students total, but when the PE teacher asked all running club participants to stand, I would say about 85% of the second grade stood up!

So, what does that mean?  Well, as a parent is says a lot.  We have kids in elementary, middle and high school this year, and as the kids get older the participation in physical fitness declines, and yet childhood obesity is a real problem in this country.  An easy fix?  Or at least a start, WHY isn’t physical fitness mandatory for ALL grades?  NOT just elementary school, not just for one year of middle and one of high school-cause let’s be honest, most of 10th grade PE is driver’s ed (so calling it PE is a joke).

Have a running club in ALL schools-sure it might not be mandatory, but offer incentives-whether it be a certificate, or a small gift card for a frozen yogurt.

First Day of School here in our household-boy did this summer fly by.

The boys are getting older, way to quickly.  Yes, I know how birthday’s work, but I can’t believe how fast the days go by.

Dean-our youngest is starting third grade!  He’s such a hard worker, and so conscientious in regards to school work, and homework. This is the little boy, that was almost in tears when he forgot his reading homework at school. He was terrified he would get in trouble and have to move his name. (his second grade teacher had everyone’s names on clothespins, and if you got in trouble you had to move your name to a different color) He is smart, funny and so kind to the kids in his class. If you need help, he’s willing to pitch in. He pointed out that he could now attend school dances and he couldn’t wait to see which of his friends were in his class this year. He’s anxious to share his summer adventures with his friends, and hear all about their’s.

Hayden-seventh grade this year! He transferred schools, and I think I’m more anxious than he is. Hayden makes friends everywhere he goes. Kids know him, and the girls adore him. (this scares me!) He’s a natural athlete, things come easy to him, but we are so proud that he isn’t afraid of hard work either. Like his brother’s he’s charming and so very smart. 

Addison is a SENIOR in high school! What the heck?!  I remember his first day of kindergarten.  Hayden was just a little guy-five months old, and I took the boys outside for the bus.  Corey was in fifth grade-and he took Addi’s hand and they crossed the street with Joe.  As the bus drove by, I see three little faces looking out at us, waving.  His first day of his first year of school, and now he’s about to start his first day of his last year of school (aside from college should he decide to go). I can’t believe it.  He’s been gone almost the entire summer, visiting his grandparents in Alabama. Helping his papa paint a work room, and learning to do woodwork. He’s been helping his mema with the dogs, and enjoying their pool. I miss him so much-can’t wait to get this year started!

And then our two oldest. I still can’t believe we have two boys in their 20′s!  Crap, this means I’m getting old too.

Joe is home now (YEAH!), and we are enjoying our visit with him.  He just bought a truck.  Roy and I joke that it looks like our truck had a baby.  (Joe’s truck just looks like a smaller version, of Roy’s) He’s so different than the 18 year old that left home a few years ago-he’s bigger, stronger, but also more confident. He seems….lighter? I guess that is the right word. More sure of himself and his place in the world. He has so many stories, and he’s more vocal. Already, I’ve gotten used to having the older boys home, and yet sooner than I care to admit-Joe will have to deploy and Corey will be graduating from college.

And then there is our oldest, Corey. He’s a senior, IN COLLEGE! I still can’t believe it.  Perhaps because he is so independent-though Roy jokes that he still lives in out house and eats all our food-I don’t realize just how much he does. He goes to school, and rarely asks for anything. He pays for it, buys own books, gets to class. He works a full time job, and he still finds time to have fun. In less than 18 months he will have graduated with a double major. Our boys are moving on-and they are making their mark in this world.

I saw something the other day, a quote and though I don’t remember the exact words-it basically says that as parents we know we’ve done our job, when our kids move on from us.  We work to install the confidence and the knowledge in them that gives them the strength to leave the nest.

And yet, I think I’m the one that lacks the strength sometimes. Thank goodness I have Roy.

Sooo, I make a pact with myself to spend more time giving in to my feelings of restlessness when it comes to writing…and than I don’t write for four day?  Go figure!

It could be because our timeline got moved up.

What timeline you ask?

Well, I’ll tell ya,  Hayden is a Freshman this year, Dean is in fifth grade-so he’ll start middle school next year, and Roy works about 60 miles from home. NOT horrible, until you factor in rush hour traffic.  Sometimes, Roy gets into the office in an hour an a half, sometimes it take twice that-my goal was to move the summer before Hayden’s junior year.  That would give him two years at a new high school, Dean would have two years at the middle school before moving into HS, but my husband is beat.  With the new position he accepted, he’s going in almost daily-and I know it’s hard on him.  So, we’re looking to move in just a few months!

Ugh, I said it out loud

We’ve been here so long, I forgot why I dislike the process.  Getting the house ready, finding a new house…and than there’s THE PURGE.

I decided to start small, something no one could have any say over-my closet.  I listed items on ebay, I put aside items for a yard sale-and felt accomplished until I looked at my closet.  Pretty sure it looks no different.  When did I accumulate so much stuff?  

To be fair, Roy’s side of the closet looks similar.  I tell the man he needs to purge and he gives me two t-shirts-out of the 50 he owns-though he only wears about 10.  He has a t-shirt that he wears constantly (I wash it, he wears it-vicious cycle) that I can see through-I kid you not.  It didn’t start out like that, he just wears it constantly!  To boot-it says Grooveshark (does anyone even remember what that is?) and he got it for free!  Not that there’s anything wrong with promotional swag-I love my pens, but when it’s starting to disintegrate, maybe it’s time to move on?

Now, for my case I realized I have way to many shirts with goofy sayings.  Some I bought for the specific purpose of basketball games-I have a few with sayings, or Hayden’s number, etc.  But most say ridiculous things like, “More Tacos please.”  I’m not sure why I need three shirts that say that-especially when all are just different shades of grey.  

And you’d think when the shirts hold no real sentimental value it would be easy to let go of-apparently, it is not.  You never know when you might find yourself in desperate need of tacos and maybe you’ve lost your voice?  I don’t know…

And let’s not even get in to my legging collection.  Now, in the winter I do wear them-daily for the most part.  I wear tunics and leggings, or a sweater and leggings, etc.  They’re warm and cute-the more colorful the better!  But I’m short, so specific brands fit me best-so why do I have pair after pair that are too big? 

I think there was a time when I bought clothes to make myself happy-I was feeling out of sorts, sad-and when I worked through that-I was left with a packed closet.  And so, THE PURGE commenced.

I truly hope the kitchen isn’t like this-or you’ll find me crying in the shower…