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Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

It Wasn’t All Bad…

And when I say bad, well that was just for lack of a better word. the past few months have had some real highs and some real lows-locking myself in the bathroom to cry because I missed Joe springs to mind.

BUT, throughout all the twists and turns we ran into when we sent our son off to BC, we did encounter some good-some truly wonderful good.

When Joe left, Roy immediately looked for groups, websites, forums, etc that I could join. Sites that would give me information and perhaps other people to talk too.

Well, the first one we found was a MESS. Hard to navigate, the forum is a jumbled mix of posts, and well, it was a mess.

So, we found a Facebook Group-and though this was certainly easier to navigate, we ran into some issues with the admins.

Eventually, I started talking to two other moms sort of behind the scenes, and they suggested we make our own group-for all the moms, wives and girlfriends in our boys’ divisions. I threw it out there to Roy, and 20 minutes later (yep, 20 minutes later) Roy sent me a link.

I was thrilled!  We could talk about our boys, we could share stories, and most of all we could bond-our boys were doing something so monumental together, why shouldn’t we, right?

We started out with a small handful of women-and Roy!  Eventually, other dads joined in (no husbands/boyfriends as Joe was not in an integrated unit), brothers came on board, sisters, Aunts, and grandparents.

We laughed, we cried and we started a countdown. When one of us got a phone call, we jumped on to alert the other parents that the phone might ring. When one of us faced a setback, the others were there to offer support.  And keep in mind, this was all through FB and some private messages.

I’m not sure how it happened, or what precipitated it, but I started to really connect with a few of the mothers-maybe just a comment I made that they found funny, or vice versa.  Maybe it was a story they shared that I could relate too, but whatever the reason, FB posts progressed to Private messages, and then phone calls.

One mom in particular, well, we just clicked-CG I’m talking about you!-SOO many things in our lives just seemed to mirror one another-right down to the car we lusted after for years, but then eventually gave up for another one.  We are both on our second marriage to men we adore and consider our soul mates. We have big families (they have four kids, we have five)-we like the same shows, much of the same music, heck we even both like our ink!

Because she and I talk so much, eventually the men got dragged in-and not surprisingly AG and Roy click just as well as she and I do. There was even some serious collaboration on the door posters we made for the boys for graduation!

Roy is amazingly sweet and patient with me when I get maudlin and weepy. Sure, if I cry hysterically over an episode of Grey’s Anatomy he might poke fun at me a bit, but when I’m a wreck because I miss my boy-he gives me a hug and comforts me as best as he can, but it’s hard for him to get.  He’s so very proud, so excited for Joe, and though I am too-I also miss him terribly.  CG gets it.  When I recount a story about Joe that moves me to tears, I see no need to hide the fact that I’m crying. And though I do the same with Roy, it’s wonderfully freeing to have another mom to do that with-one that gets it.

At some point in this process, CG and I became convinced that we share a brain.  And we laughed about that for weeks.

And before I knew it, Roy and I were packing up to head to Chicago.  There was a small part of me that was nervous about meeting our new friends-it was almost like a blind date.  We clicked on screen and on paper, would it be any different in person?

We got in at 9 AM on Thursday morning after driving all night, and we were both beat down. WE checked into the hotel and immediately went upstairs to get some rest.  I woke up around noon and got cleaned up, then it was Roy’s turn, and after we were dressed we headed down to the lobby to see who was there.

And then my phone buzzed:

CG was texting me to say they had landed. About 45 minutes later, her daughter texted me to say they would be there in about 15 minutes. And much like a first date, the anticipation curled in my belly.

And then I looked out the window and say her pull in. I smiled, and the nerves fell away-it was like seeing my sister after months of separation. I ran outside, we took one look at each other, squealed like school girls and fell into each others arms.

Over the next few days, there was never any pressure to do this or that-we got it. We needed to be with our boys. We passed each other in the hallways, sat with one another at graduation, but we both got it.

On Saturday, I woke up dreadfully early to get ready to head to the airport to see Joe off.  CG was downstairs in the lobby so I ran down to get in a few minutes of bonding time.  We talked, we laughed and then she got a text from her son that he was ready to go!  I told her that I would call when we got home, so that she knew we had survived the long drive.

“I feel like I’m saying goodbye to my sister.” she told me, as we hugged goodbye, both of us had tears coursing down our faces.

And yet, saying goodbye wasn’t as bad as I expected. Why?  Because I think, much like finding Roy, you find a few friends in your life that really get it, that get you. They accept all your quirks, and they love you for it.  Because I know this is the start of a wonderful friendship, and that meeting in Chicago was just the beginning.

Because that’s how family is!

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Did you know I wrote a book? I did. So I'd love for you to snag a copy and let me know what you think! It's called
Lost (an Affliction novel; book 1).

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