I’ve been told by numerous people, read many articles, and even wondered myself if it was smart to consider Roy my best friend. This all came to a head a few years ago when we went through something that tested our marriage-I was furious with him, and yet when I’m upset he’s the person I go to. For advice, comfort, or just a sympathetic ear.  HOW could I do that when I was so mad at him?

That situation shed a light on what was lacking in my life-female friends, so I put myself out there and made some. 

And yet, if I look at my marriage, REALLY look at it, I would be lying if I said, Roy wasn’t ALSO my best friend.  Now, that isn’t the only niche he fills. He is my husband, the father of our children, he provides for us, cares for us. He’s my lover, and if I didn’t believe in them before, I do now-my soul mate.

BUT, he’s also my best friend. Best friends argue, we fight, and sometimes we don’t speak for a time-I do all that with Roy.

He’s my confidant, my ally, and though we don’t always agree, I NEVER for one second doubt that he has my back, and I believe he feels the same way about me.

About five years ago, we went down to my inlaws for a quick visit, and I got very sick. So sick, Roy had to rush me to the ER. Once we got back to their house, and he had tucked me into bed for some sleep, he went downstairs. Hours later I woke up and was about to leave the room when I heard him talking to his mother. She expressed worry that Roy and I didn’t have more friends, that we rarely did things without the other. She worried that should something happen to one of us the other would be crushed-and while I understand her worry, I kinda wanted to say, "NO DUH.“

I LOVE my husband. I love him more today than I did 18 years ago, and I have no doubt I will love him more tomorrow. After almost 20 years together, he still does things that surprises me. Seeing his smile, hearing his laughter, still gives me butterflies, and now it’s even better, because I know what to expect, I know what’s in store for me. IF something every happened to him, I would be crushed-that’s a given.

But I also know that I have family and friends I could turn too. I know that I would get the love and support I needed, and the same for him.

Perhaps we are lucky, in that we have such a close marriage. Maybe I simply hit the jackpot when I said yes.

I’ve been ‘just’ a stay at home mom for about 15 years now. Well, let me take a step back-I coached full time for a bit-about 2 years- and then part time for another few years, but for the most part my family has been my 'job.’

I suppose I’ve always believed in what I was doing. Sure, my house isn’t spotless, ok right now it’s a mess, and I hate to dust (really though, does anyone like to) but I love being here for Roy and the boys.

That being said, I’m a firm believer in doing what you love, and what you can. IF your SO has to work four jobs, and you’re on public assistant so you can be home, I’m sorry you need to face reality. IF we couldn’t manage, I wouldn’t be at home, I would be working. But even IF you COULD manage on one income, but you simply love what you do-awesome!  Do it.

I firmly believe that women should support one another, and the choices we make, because I firmly believe that most women (and men) try to do the very best they can, and let’s be honest not everyone has the desire to be, or wants to be a stay at home parent. 

And that’s ok! Who says you have to be? Kids do fine in daycare, they’ve been doing it for decades! Public school is great, once kids are old enough they can be home alone for a few hours, etc.

It’s what we do when we are with our kids that makes the difference.

But this post isn’t about working parents/Stay at home parents, no it’s about being proud of who and what you choose to do in life.

I’m a big reader of the advice columns in the Washington Post. Today a woman wrote that she hated telling people that she was 'just’ a stay at home mom. I assume she thought it wasn’t commanding enough, or didn’t inspire enough awe…I don’t know, and yet she writes that SHE and her husband made the choice for her to be home with the kids.

This wasn’t something her husband mandated, the two of them made the choice.

A few of the comments mentioned that since they don’t have kids when someone says they are a stay at home parent, they don’t know how to respond to that. My response to both the letter writer and the comments is simply this:

Huh?

Eloquent, I know!

To the Letter Writer: THIS WAS YOUR CHOICE! If you aren’t confident in your choice, do something about it! Take a class at your local community college, volunteer, adopt a dog, or here’s a doozy-go back to work!

IF you truly believe you are where you should be now in your life-then be happy and own your choice.

And to the Letter Writer and the Comment Makers:When I chose to stay home/when you chose to stay home-you didn’t suddenly become a blooming idiot. 

I-and you- can talk about things other than my children. In fact, I would often LIKE to talk about something other than my children. Current events, politics, entertainment, music, books, religion, etc, etc….I’m a well read person, I can hold a conversation about something other than the school fundraiser and what my kids are doing at the moment.

Shocking, right?!

In fact, I want to go on record and say that my career, because right now I consider being home with the boys my career, isn’t the only thing I have going on. And I would hope that someone that has a more traditional job, well, I hope that isn’t the only thing THEY have going on either. If so…well,I suggest ya’ll get something else going on.

I’ve been insulted by people for choosing to stay at home with my boys, but I’ve never let them make me feel bad. If they think doing what I do makes me 'less than,’ that’s on them, because frankly I think their ignorant attitude makes THEM 'less than.’

One thing Roy has always accused me of when it comes to vacations is over planning.  And I admit, I’m a planner.  I enjoy the research, the planning, etc.  That’s me.  And I will CONTINUE to point out the one vacation I did nothing (granted it was a vacation with extended family, so it wasn’t just us), we literally sat around for four hours trying to figure out what to do.  Sorry, that isn’t my idea of fun.  I like to relax as much as the next person, but sitting around arguing-excuse me ‘discussing’-what to do isn’t relaxing OR fun.

BUT, I knew there would be something everyone wanted to do-play in the pool, bowl, watch a movie, something that you can’t really plan for until you are there, so I did my best to leave free time so that we could be a bit more spontaneous.

On last day there, Hayden and Dean decided they wanted to rent little speed boats.  Just these little two person things.  Roy and Hayden in one, Dean and I in the other.  I knew I could drive it, but since Hayden was old enough to drive it, I wanted someone with a bit more experience there to help him.

We even had a coupon because we booked with Disney directly-15% off!  So, we decided to rent two for an hour-and it was a blast! We went all over the lagoon-saw the Magic Kingdom, a few of the resorts.  We even spied River Country, USA.  An old water park that has been shut down since 2001.  THAT was awesome-you could just imagine kids running around and parents relaxing by the pool.

Now, Roy and I had planned something special for the kids that night at Hollywood Studios, so the plan was to go to Downtown Disney for lunch and to do a little shopping.  I had finally narrowed down what I wanted as my souvenir.  So, we got cleaned up after our boating adventure, and headed out.  And when we got there, we discovered the little boys had taken off their Magic Bands and left them in the tent.

“REALLY?” I fussed at them, “You goobers KNOW you need them for the park?!”

I think Dean did a cartwheel and Hayden started to walk towards the escalator.

“Where are you going? We need to go get them!” I said.

Roy knew I was annoyed, but he probably just didn’t want to wander around with the sweaty masses, “I’ll go get them.  Keep your phone handy.”

I shook my head at the kids, who both gave me sheepish grins.

 The boys do love their trinkets, but I was actually pretty surprised on this trip.  They didn’t whine for much.  They did want to go into the huge Lego store, but when I pointed out that these weren’t really Disney legos and we could get them at Target, they both agreed (WHAT? Where are my boys?) and asked me to take their picture in front of the giant, Lego dragon-Maleficent!

We went into the World of Disney and I asked the boys to help me find a Beauty and the Beast coffee mug.  Eventually, we settled on one with Lumiere that says, “Be Our Guest.”  The boys asked if they could get little snacks, and I found a cute shirt with Minnie on it.  We paid for our treats and headed out.  We looked around a bit more and eventually settled on Wolfgang Puck Express for lunch.  I ordered for Roy and we sat down for our last quick service meal of this vacation.  We asked the boys what their favorite ride was, what restaurant they enjoyed, and enjoyed lunch as a family.

And then it was time to get our treat.  As I mentioned when I started this review, on each of our vacations Roy looks for something I’m interested in for the house, something I coo and gush over, and eventually, he buys it for me as a memory.  It’s not extravagant stuff-just little reminders of our travels together.

One of my favorite Disney movies is “Up.” If you’ve seen it, you know all about the first five or so minutes-I always cry-ALWAYS.  Carl and Ellie’s love story is the sweetest thing.  Our first night there, we wandered into the Art of Disney store, so I could start getting an idea of what was catching my eye.  And Roy saw it.  A picture of Carl and Ellie painting their mailbox.  It was expensive-almost $400, but on that last night there a cast member mentioned they had a print.

 I love it.  I love this so very much!  We also got the cutest Eeyore Britto figure.

 And though I love Eeyore, that print might be my favorite memory item yet!  Now, I just have to decide on a frame for it!

“Are you happy?” Roy asked me again, with a kiss on my sweaty head.  He asks me that a lot.  Maybe I don’t smile enough.

Anyways, I was happily hugging my wonderful print, so I just turned my head up, which is my way of saying, “Kiss me, my gorgeous man!”

Then it was off to Hollywood Studios.

“Can we ride the roller coaster again?” Dean asked.  Hayden seconded that.

Roy spoke up so I didn’t have to, “We have something special planned. Relax.”

We drove the five minutes and then parked.

“Park far!” I told Roy, since some kid already opened his door and hit the truck. NOT cool!

Roy rolled his eyes at me, and of course parked as far away as he could.  We hopped out, slathered on our sunscreen and headed for the park.  We did Toy Story Midway Mania-I am not very good at this, but Roy of course had very high score.  Basically, you sit in a cart that will spin, and then you get about 20 seconds to 'shoot’ at targets.  It was a blast, even if my hand eye coordination needs work.

We did the Great Movie Ride again, and then on  whim decided to go to “For the First Time In Forever: a Frozen Sing along.  NOW, I heard Hayden gripe a bit.

"Serious?” he gave me stank eye, “Mom, no one likes Frozen.”

Now, Dean loves Olaf, and I admit that I enjoyed the movie, but most importantly….AIR CONDITIONING!

But to be honest, I think we all enjoyed the show.  The two storytellers were actually hilarious, and even Hayden appreciated cooling off, and then when Elsa made it snow (foamy puffs, but HELLO? AWESOME!)

And in the spirit of complete disclosure, I think we all sang “Let It Go.”

After our sing a long, it was off to Star Tours, and before I knew it-our special treat had arrived!

We got reservations at Hollywood and Vine-a buffet-and with our meal came priority seating for Fantasmic.

I have NO pictures of this!  What was I thinking?!  The buffet was ok-50’s Prime time was MUCH better, but we enjoyed our last dinner at Disney.  We stuffed ourselves full of friend rice, salad, soup, chocolate, pasta, chocolate…and other stuff.  And then we decided to wash down our huge dinner with another trip on Tower of Terror.

Luckily, we held it all down.  After that, it was time to head to Fantasmic.

Now, i remember this light show as being amazing!  I didn’t remember many of the details from our trip in 2003, but I remember oohing and ahhing with the kids, and I couldn’t wait for the younger boys to see it.

At the show they have light toys-rings, necklaces, light sabers, etc that light up with the music-SO COOL!  And Roy wanted to get some for the kids-they ended up picking Mickey Hands, and it was fun to see it change colors in time with the music and story of the show.

Towards the end, all the good guys come out, and you can see Stitch dancing on this huge riverboat.  The look on their faces made all of this worth it.

All the hot nights, and the buckets of sweat.  The multiple bottles of sunscreen we doused ourselves with. The crowds, the rude people, the crushed feet-all of it was worth it for that look of wonder on their faces.  The delight in their eyes and the memories they now have.

I stole a quick look at my husband, and his smile was just as big as the boys.  I leaned over and kissed him, “Thank you.”

He smiled at me and took some more pictures.

Afterwards we walked out and the kids picked out t-shirts.  Fireworks were bursting overhead, and we could hear Frozen songs coming from the parade.

I love the rides, and the shows.  The Food at Disney is amazing as well.  There is so much to see and do, but what I love most is that look we saw on their faces-the smiles, and the laughter.  The memories.  The chance to share this with the boys.

Our last night at Disney was definitely one for the books.

A little girl is often thought of as playing “house” when she is little.  People imagine that she dreams of her wedding day.  She and her friends will play “marriage” and take turns being the bride.  As they grow up, become a teenager, we imagine them talking with their friends about the type of wedding they want - their colors, what type of wedding dress they want, what song they will dance to for their first dance.  And they start imagining if the boy they are dating would be a good husband, a good father.

We want our daughters to fall in love with a good person.  Someone that will treat them with respect, that will cherish them.

But what about our boys?  Do we think about the type of person we want them to be with?  Do we hope that they will find a good person.

How many articles and interviews have we read or heard that says women still earn less in the workplace for doing the exact same job?  Are female athletes paid as much as male athletes?  There ARE double standards, but what about the ones that effect our boys?

Before I go any further, I will admit it - I have boys.  I think like the mother of boys.  So if I am biased, I apologize in advance, but I am posting this as a means to open up discussions.

Ok, let me give you an example…

Boy and girl are dating. They break up.  The details aren’t important, but how many times have you heard this:

“OMG!  I hate him, he is such a jerk.  What a d**k!”

“Oh, what happened?  What did he do?”

Now, what about this:

“What a B***H!”

“Watch your mouth!  Now tell me what happened.”

Our first instinct is to appease the young woman, to coddle her, and make her feel better.  To reassure her that it’s him (or her if she is a lesbian) and not her.

BUT, with our boys, we want to make sure that they don’t call a woman the dreaded “B” word or demean her, AND THEN we are willing to listen to their story. At least that is the story I hear most often.

Why do father’s babysit - instead of just take care of their kids? Why are SAHDs treated differently?  (I don’t know this for a fact; this is what I have heard; not really close with any SAHD.) Why do we stress that women can be doctors too, but a male nurse is something to ridicule?

And a big question for me - why do we tolerate a woman slapping a man, but not the other way around?  I have had this discussion with my friends before, and I hear lots of answers:

“Oh, men deserve it more!”  Really?  Have you met some of these women?

“Oh, men are stronger!” Really?  I think I’m pretty strong, and I know I can throw down.

And my favorite - “Well, we just do!”  Again, really? Why?

Now, I’m not saying we should encourage our sons to go around treating girls like crap or harm them or get into a brawl. No, my issue is we want equality, so why do we tolerate it when our girls treat boys poorly?

I have seen countless girls wearing shirts that say"Boys Suck!“ And we laugh them off, How many shirts have you seen that say, "Girls Suck!”

Do we want equality, or do we prefer the right to have the way we disrespect men overlooked, even applauded?

I was reading something the other day about a couple that literally splits everything down the middle.  Married for a year, they will have a waitress split their check. At the grocery store-half on one card, half on the other. Electric, cable, rent, etc, etc-all 50/50. They even take separate vacations.

My knee jerk response was-huh? Does she have a husband or a really cool roommate that’s willing to chip in?

My secondary response was-Hey, Chris-that’s not cool. If it works for them, who are you to judge?

And then a young woman put it pretty clearly.

Someone blasted everyone that didn’t agree with the author. This reader does the same thing with her husband-everything down the middle. She goes on to say some vacations she wants to take her husband isn’t interested in, and vice versa. That marriage isn’t about money-it’s about communication and trust. She says her money is just that, HER money.

So another young lady comments:

You say it’s about trust, and yet you don’t even trust him with your bank account info?

Good point.

But surprisingly what stuck out to me was the separate vacation thing. Being a stay at home mom, our marriage has a different fundamental. Without Roy paying for almost everything-we have nothing. Ok-there are lots of two income families, so not combining finances isn’t that foreign to me.  That being said, even when I did work Roy never said much about the money I earned. It was never all that much, certainly no where near what he earns-so that old adage-what’s her’s is hers and what’s mine is hers. He laughs it off.

BUT, I couldn’t imagine vacationing without my husband!  I just don’t get that. Sure, maybe Disneyworld wasn’t his first choice, but making me and the boys happy makes it worth it for him.

No, our initial cruise wasn’t my first choice, but I wanted to give it a shot for Roy and the boys-and though I LOVED it, had it just been 'ok,’ it would have created some amazing memories for me, because my guys had so much fun.

Are Beer festivals my first choice for a day out with Roy?  No, but HE loves them, and I love experiencing something that he is passionate about with him.

Does Roy care if I buy some clothes online?  NO, but he gamely watches me model them and offers advice because he likes making me smile.

Think back to a few days ago, when Lady Gaga fails to mention her fiance. Many people thought it was no big deal, and yet THAT is the person you have chosen to share your life with-isn’t winning that award a major milestone in your life?  I have written a few books, it took me years to get the courage to put an entire story down on paper. Even longer to tell my family, "Hey! I did it.“ Roy didn’t help me write it, but he was there encouraging me every step of the way.

On a lesser note, it’s that same mentality of some women hating when their partner says, "We’re pregnant.” He isn’t carrying the baby, why does he get the glory?  

Simple, he was there, and if he’s truly your partner, he will be there every step of the way.

Marriage has never been truly about compromise-in most situation someone gives in-whether it be a little or a lot.  Marriage is often about sacrifice, and yet when you are with someone that’s worth the sacrifice-it never feels as if you are giving up a thing.

I remember reading something a few years ago:

Just because YOU don’t think there’s a problem, doesn’t mean there isn’t a problem.

Basically the author meant that in a relationship-whether it be a marriage, dating, friendship, parenting, whatever-if ONE person thinks there’s a problem-there’s a problem.

It might be as simple as a misunderstanding.  I thought Roy was being a jerk, but he was just kidding around.  At the very least he didn’t get the joke across and now I am offended.

And I try to live by that.  Just because I didn’t mean to hurt someone’s feelings doesn’t meant I didn’t.

Just because I didnt’ mean to annoy you, doesn’t mean I didn’t.

And to be honest, most of the time things can be cleared up with a simple, I’m sorry.

One thing that bugs the crap out of me is spoilers.  (No, I’m not changing topics, bear with me.) Now, at certain times I don’t mind…I might even read in depth reviews of a certain movie, but not everyone is like me.  So on FB the other day, a woman gave away a HUGE plot point of a movie that had literally come out that very same day.  A number of people called her on it.

Comments ranged from, NO…why did you give it away?  To, wow you are the worst person ever…you suck.

Now, of course she isn’t the worst person ever, but the fact remains that a lot of people were annoyed.  And when she read said comments her response was…

“God all you people are stupid, it’s just a movie.”

Well, a number of people left the mommy group that this was posted on. And again, the person that posted the spoiler doesn’t seem to realize that it was probably more about her inability to simply say, “Oops, my bad.  Sorry” and refrain from insulting people, as opposed to the fact that she posted a spoiler in the first place.

And that’s the kicker for me.  NOT everyone thinks the same way, not everyone functions the same way.  And in the end, especially if it’s nothing more than a simple misunderstand, what does it cost you to apologize to clear the air?

I’m not talking about a serious issue-if you cheat on your spouse, chances are a simple “Sorry” isn’t going to be enough.

But, if your spouse thinks you are flirting, and you hurt their feeling….what’s more important?  Proving them wrong, or trying to understand what hurt their feelings in the first place so that you can discuss it and move forward?

No, Roy does not flirt with random women in front of me and he has never cheated on me…but that was an easy example to illustrate my point.

What also gets my goat is that often times the very people that can’t admit any wrong doing on their part are often the same people that scream, “WHOA is me!” when they are the ‘victim’ of a slight. 

Hypocrisy is just as annoying as spoilers.

Family is important to me.  Without going into details, growing up there were times when I feared my parents not believing in me.  Yes, I messed up, I made mistakes, but in the end it took me a long time to realize that those mistakes didn’t have to define me.  I wasn’t measured by my mistakes, they weren’t indicative of the person I am/was/and will become.

And now that I have children of my own, I’m happily married-this is how I see it.

I don’t want my children to EVER doubt whether or not I’m here for them.  I don’t want them to wonder if mom will turn tail and run the other way, leaving them to crawl out of whatever hole it is they dug without a helping hand.  

Now, to be clear, and we tell the boys the same thing-we aren’t here to fix all their problems.  If we do that we are doing them a disservice, especially the older boys who might very well be on their own sooner rather than later.  But we’ll help them, we’ll talk out a problem with them, we’ll talk to someone with them, etc.  And in the end, if they try their hardest to fix whatever problem they are having-if they give it 100% and still fall on their face…Mom and Dad is here to help them up again, because that’s life.  

You will hopefully have a lot of success in life, that’s what we want, but I also want boys that can hit the floor and still get up.  I want boys that might get knocked down, but they pull up their pants, and keep on fighting.  And I want them to understand, we are in their corner.

Sometimes being in their corner means helping them take responsibility for a mistake, and we are ok with that.  

But it also means cheering on their successes.  

And that bring me to my question:  IF someone consistently thought that any joy you celebrated was you rubbing it in their face, would you be ok with that?

yesterday, I shared my joy over our upcoming belated honeymoon-yep that’s what I’m calling it.  Our friends are happy for us. They know this is something we’ve been planning, and they are sharing in our excitement.

And isn’t that all we can ask for?  I wouldn’t rub my friends failures in their faces, and I won’t begrudge them their happiness, and I hope they do the same for us.

If they couldn’t do that….would you still be friends with them?

If not…what if the person that always points out your mistakes, they never let you live anything down..what if that person is family?

And on that same note…what if any joy you had…from the tiny (I lost 5 pounds) to the big (I lost 30+ pounds on my own!) was overlooked?

Now, I don’t need my ego stroked, I think I’m out of my formative ‘teen years’ and I’m genuinely happy with my life.  I have children that love me and cheer on my successes.  I have a husband that supports me-success or failure.  But most importantly, I’m happy being me.

And yet, there is a part of me that would love to pick up the phone, and be cheered on, as opposed to being reminded of that one time…I missed curfew…when I was 16….

Does it make a difference if the 'negative nelly’ is family?  Does that mean you need to put up with it?

First, please excuse any misspellings, between this new keyboard and my fake nails, I might have a tough time. That said, Marriage, could it be anymore fun.

I adore my husband, I do…I love the man more everyday. Yes, sounds cliched, but I have found it true. There are days when he will do something, sweet or kind with one of our sons and my heart skips a beat. BUT, I have also discovered that the man I married is flawless, now don’t get me wrong, I know noone is perfect and I certainly don’t think my husband is, but somehow HE believes he is.

For instance, the other day…he is pushing up on me, I am PMSing I am exhausted (we do have four little boys, two dogs of our own and we were watching my in-laws two dogs) I asked him nicely, “Honey, please stop, and let me get dressed.” He walked away, said I was a total bitch and slammed our bathroom door. About an hour later, I jokingly said that he had ‘issues’ he asked what that was supposed to mean…I said, well you are sarcastic and you can be rude, his reply…"Yeah, cause I have to deal with you.“ IS it that sarcasm he is famous for, or am I truly the cause of all our marital strife? If so, how is a person like me…can be a bitch at times, tired, exhausted, slightly chubby with sagging boobs…supposed to deal with being married to a perfect man?

There are times I don’t think I can…deal with it that is. He works hard and has made many sacrifices for this family, which can cause me to pull up that mental scorecard I find myself keeping in my heart. He did this for the family, have I made a sacrifice on par with his. Was mine more worthy of note than his was? If not, how can I play the martyr?

Bottom line, I can’t. It isn’t in my nature. I can joke about it, and even resent him sometimes, but in the end my pride in my husband rules out any need to keep track of who is better at the martyr game.

I was always Team Jennifer (Aniston). She was my favorite “friend,” I love her hair, blah, blah, blah. And yesterday she said something that really makes a hell of a lot of sense.

To paraphrase: Our worth as women shouldn’t be defined by marriage or having children.

I agree=100%!

Kids aren’t for everyone, marriage isn’t for everyone, and it’s great that people know this. They recognize this and are ok with it. I adore my boys, I love being a mom, but not everyone thinks like me, and why should they?

But it goes both ways. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard, “OH, I could never just sit around all day.” When people find out I’m a SAHM.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve had people ask me if Roy allows me to do certain things. He makes the money, so somehow that makes me less of a partner. For the record, no I don’t need to talk to Roy and get his permission to run to the store.

I can’t tell you how many times I;ve had people explain to me current events, political agendas or told me who someone was, because apparently being a SAHM means I can only watch cartoons and read Dr. Seuss.

This boils down to respect-on both sides. Just as some aren’t defined by their decision to NOT have kids, I’m not defined by my decision TO have children. I love being a mom, but it isn’t all I am.

I’m a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter.

I’m a writer, but most importantly, I’m an adult. I take (or try to anyways) responsibility for my decision and at the end of the day, I’m happy with who I am and what my choices in life have been.

Sooo, I make a pact with myself to spend more time giving in to my feelings of restlessness when it comes to writing…and than I don’t write for four day?  Go figure!

It could be because our timeline got moved up.

What timeline you ask?

Well, I’ll tell ya,  Hayden is a Freshman this year, Dean is in fifth grade-so he’ll start middle school next year, and Roy works about 60 miles from home. NOT horrible, until you factor in rush hour traffic.  Sometimes, Roy gets into the office in an hour an a half, sometimes it take twice that-my goal was to move the summer before Hayden’s junior year.  That would give him two years at a new high school, Dean would have two years at the middle school before moving into HS, but my husband is beat.  With the new position he accepted, he’s going in almost daily-and I know it’s hard on him.  So, we’re looking to move in just a few months!

Ugh, I said it out loud

We’ve been here so long, I forgot why I dislike the process.  Getting the house ready, finding a new house…and than there’s THE PURGE.

I decided to start small, something no one could have any say over-my closet.  I listed items on ebay, I put aside items for a yard sale-and felt accomplished until I looked at my closet.  Pretty sure it looks no different.  When did I accumulate so much stuff?  

To be fair, Roy’s side of the closet looks similar.  I tell the man he needs to purge and he gives me two t-shirts-out of the 50 he owns-though he only wears about 10.  He has a t-shirt that he wears constantly (I wash it, he wears it-vicious cycle) that I can see through-I kid you not.  It didn’t start out like that, he just wears it constantly!  To boot-it says Grooveshark (does anyone even remember what that is?) and he got it for free!  Not that there’s anything wrong with promotional swag-I love my pens, but when it’s starting to disintegrate, maybe it’s time to move on?

Now, for my case I realized I have way to many shirts with goofy sayings.  Some I bought for the specific purpose of basketball games-I have a few with sayings, or Hayden’s number, etc.  But most say ridiculous things like, “More Tacos please.”  I’m not sure why I need three shirts that say that-especially when all are just different shades of grey.  

And you’d think when the shirts hold no real sentimental value it would be easy to let go of-apparently, it is not.  You never know when you might find yourself in desperate need of tacos and maybe you’ve lost your voice?  I don’t know…

And let’s not even get in to my legging collection.  Now, in the winter I do wear them-daily for the most part.  I wear tunics and leggings, or a sweater and leggings, etc.  They’re warm and cute-the more colorful the better!  But I’m short, so specific brands fit me best-so why do I have pair after pair that are too big? 

I think there was a time when I bought clothes to make myself happy-I was feeling out of sorts, sad-and when I worked through that-I was left with a packed closet.  And so, THE PURGE commenced.

I truly hope the kitchen isn’t like this-or you’ll find me crying in the shower…