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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

I am Woman…

Hear me roar!  Or whatever the saying is.  Ok, I know that’s the saying, but bear with me a minute here.

There is a video circulating on the internet-I’ve seen it pop up on my FB feed a few times-of a young, female Medic (I am not sure of the branch) struggling to cross the finish line of a grueling hike.  It seems only 20% of the medics that set out on the course were able to complete it, this young woman was one of that 20%.

AMAZING! There’s just no other word for it.  It isn’t amazing that she’s a woman and finished it, it’s amazing that she finished period.  It’s amazing that each and every one of those 20% finished this course-but she’s the one that got the props.

Why?  Because she’s a woman-or so the video circulating implies.

There was a comment on one of the FB threads by an older woman-we’ll call her Pat.  Pat claims she is almost 80, and she’s disgusted that this young woman is pretending to be a boy.  That’s she’s wearing a uniform, as woman should be at home having babies and tending to the home.  An antiquated outlook to say the least-dated and chauvinistic for sure.  And even more sad that it’s coming from a woman.  NOT that a woman is trying to keep another woman down, but that she so glaringly missed the point.

Many in the comments missed the point as well:

“Women are stronger!”

“We’re better than men, because we can give birth!”

And on and on.  Perhaps I’m more passionate about these ridiculous debates because I have boys.  I don’t want them pigeonholed because they are boys, nor do I want them to think they are better than women simply because they ARE boys.  That isn’t what Roy and I have tried to teach the boys.

But what’s silly is the reasoning-Women are better because we can have children?  Did a woman step forward long ago and say-YES, give me the power of childbirth?  Of course, we don’t know, none of us was there, but our strength of character, of heart, of mind shouldn’t be boiled down to a biological difference.  Roy and I didn’t sit at the table and decide I would carry our children because I’m stronger-if we wanted to have a child ‘the old fashioned way’ our choice was limited to ME carrying the child-he couldn’t.

But ladies, make no mistake men go through pains of their own when we are carrying their children-or many men do, I won’t speak for all.  And their pain as no medication-you can’t take away the fear they have watching the woman they love/care about go through nine months of changes, of the pain during child birth.  I know the concern Roy felt-I saw it written all over his face-when I had problems with my pregnancy with Dean.  I saw it in his posture, the way he held his arms, and clenched his fists.  I saw the sadness when the doctor’s didn’t know what was wrong with me. I watched his face when he offered me his hand during a contraction and I, very likely, almost broke his hand.  But mainly, I saw it in his eyes when he realized that whatever happens to me, to our baby is out of his control.

The physical pain-you recover from, the uncertainty and the lack of control is harder to define. It’s harder to fix.

Now, this isn’t me saying, “SEE Men ARE stronger!” This is me saying that a physical act, that women most likely didn’t choose to accept, shouldn’t be a measurement as to strength.  Because if I’m being honest, I know I can take drugs to quell the pain of contractions!

Physically your average woman isn’t going to be stronger than your average man, but there are exceptions to the rule.

But I think the real question here is-why are we still arguing about this?  WHY is it a contest?  I can think of a number of strengths that I have that Roy does not possess, or rather that I excel at.  On the other hand, I can think of a number of strengths that HE has, that I do not excel at.

And that’s what makes a relationship work.  When I fall he picks me up, and vice versa.  And I’m asking-why is that still an issue?

On that very same thread, a young woman said it was the height of stupidity to depend on anyone other than yourself. In fact she said this in reference to me and a few other women, stating that we are stay at home mom’s.  Perhaps it is, without Roy I have no money or rather I wouldn’t if I didn’t get a job. BUT, I also feel I chose the right partner, and SHOULD something happen to him or us, I will be protected.  Maybe that sort of thinking is the height of stupidity,  maybe that makes me weak, I choose to see that as one of my strengths. I trusted in myself enough to believe that I choose the right man to marry, to be with, to depend on-and that’s why I will never see my choice as staying home with our children as a weakness.

Nor should Roy look at his being the breadwinner as testament to his superior strength.  YES, he possesses a skill I do not, and yes that skill allows him to earn a comfortable living for our family-but (and he has said this himself) during the course of our marriage he has shown me that his success is partly because of my faith in him, my belief in his abilities.  I’m not saying he owes his success to me, but I think it makes it that much sweeter, as he knows he’s doing it for someone other than just himself.

The bottom line is-it’s ignorant to wage a battle of strength between the sexes. There’s never going to be a winner, so why bothering debating?

Marriage men Military sexism women
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Lost (an Affliction novel; book 1).

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