Yes, that’s the sound of my frustration.

Poltics-yes, it’s politics again. This is unusual for me, usually I try to keep politics off my blog, but it isn’t the actual politics that is bothering me.

It’s the hypocrisy.

Please stop calling those on the left-libtards, stop calling them snowflakes and asking if they need a 'safe place.’

Stop calling those on the right-sheep, gullible, etc.

Fact is, We’ve been through worse, and we get through this, but a fractured country with both sides acting like children throwing a temper tantrum on the playground is not the way to go, people.

And we keep on going.

Number 3 is from our first lady, Michelle Obama.

3) Eat Dinner as a family-I agree.  Simple as that.  Mrs. Obama, goes on to say, that sometimes the president will drop everything to attend family dinners.  In theory, this is a wonderful idea.  But why  imply that a family DINNER is what’s important?  Perhaps your husband is stuck in traffic, maybe your child’s basketball practice ran late, things can interfere, but making SOME time to be together is the goal here isn’t it?

Sometimes we have breakfast on Sunday morning together.  I get up, make pancakes and fruit salad, and we all sit around the table TOGETHER.  If breakfasts works for your family, do it.  Maybe after dinner, a ‘dessert time’ is doable.  IN the summer or school vacations, maybe lunch works.  It isn’t the fact that you eat dinner together that counts, it’s the fact that you are together.  Spend time with your kids, talk about your day, laugh together.

I think Mrs. Obama offers up a great 'thing’ I just think there’s more too it.

Tomorrow’s a big day!  Not only will we vote for the president, but local elections are on the forefront as well.  And it is the first election our oldest can vote in.

That being said, Roy and I are pretty hush-hush when it comes to politics.  We don’t identify with either party-we vote on the issues.  Socially, we are probably considered Democrats, when it comes to financial policy-we are more in line with Republicans.  Because of that, we are usually pretty quiet when it comes to political discussions.  We might discuss/debate the issues, but we rarely come out and vocally support a candidate.

What happens in this country is important to us.  We have children, my husband works for the government, and to be honest we are simply proud American’s.  We don’t look at this country with blinders on, we have a lot of issues, but one thing we appreciate is the ability to voice our opinion.  We believe change comes from action, and from the ability to voice what you think MIGHT make a difference.

BUT, I’ve seen too many ‘discussions’ dissolve into ugliness, which creates bad feeling, and can actually ruin relationships.  We discuss politics with each other, openly, on the other hand Roy and I have very similar ideas.  On certain issues, I differ to him, and vice versa.  That has served us well, but it is that same ideology that prevents us from being comfortable discussing politics with our family.  When it comes to our parents, and our sisters (Roy has one, I have one) Roy and I are easily the most liberal, and I would rather enjoy a visit with my family than let a difference of fiscal policy ruin a lovely Thanksgiving.

So, I just want to say this…just because we don’t discuss politics, doesn’t mean we don’t care about this country and our government. 

I try to keep politics off of here.  Like Religion-it’s a charged subject.  We all have our beliefs, we all have our opinions-I’d like to be respected for mine, and I’ll give you that same courtesy.  As such, I find it easier to simply leave it off my blog.

But this has bugged me for years-and so, I’m gonna say it. 

Our federal employees deserve your respect.

Now, before you get upset hear me out.  Just like ANY other profession-you have your bad apples.  EMployees that simply want to collect a paycheck-and I’ve seen that in federal employees, but I’ve also seen that in teachers, doctors, nurses, retails workers, etc.

Then you have your stand outs-those that excel and truly go above and beyond.  Now, I get me saying that Roy falls into that category is biased-but I’ve seen it with my own eyes.  He’s respected and appreciated by his superiors and those that he leads.  He takes phone calls at 11 pm, because that guy on the west coast forgets about the time change (NOT cool west coast guy!), he works 60 hour weeks routinely and does the job of at least two on a daily basis. My husband works his ass off-to provide for our family and to do his part in doing whatever it is the Treasury Department does (keep your opinions to yourself please). Now he doesn’t push himself like this all day every day, but he does go above and beyond.

AS for most federal employees.  They are hard working, honest people-that took a job to do their part.  They want and deserve to not work under the constant threat of shutdowns, and they certainly don’t deserve the crappy comments that I routinely see floating around. 

It’s like that guy sitting behind you at the football game-he’s loud and obnoxious, but most fans are simply there to cheer on their team and enjoy the game.  BUT who’s voice rises above them all?  The obnoxious guy.  He isn’t the norm, he isn’t rule-he’s the exception.  And like in most professions-the lazy, bloat in the federal workforce is often the exception rather than the rule, so stop judging ALL federal employees by that limited figure.

When Corey was in third grade he had a teacher-lovely lady-that was getting ready to retire-and she phoned it in.  Nothing bad per se-but nothing good either.  The kids learned the minimum required, and that was about it.  BY that standard, should I assume all teachers are devoid of imagination and past caring about their students?

When I was in the hospital after having Hayden, Roy ran out to get a decent meal.  Because I was antsy and refused to sit still, I was prowling the hallways and heard the nurses talking about a doctor that left gauze in a patient-should I assume ALL doctors are like that, or was that a mistake?

Should I assume ALL retail employees are similar to the few I see at our local store-standing around talking, and IF you ask them where something is, they merely say, “Ohh…(insert laugh here)I don’t really know…..”

OR should I assume:

That there are teachers like the many our kids have had-the ones that go out of their way to take the driest math lesson and make it fun.  The ones that pay for snacks out of their own pockets so that all kids have something to eat.

What about the doctor that stuck around well after her shift was over, so she could make sure that first time mother had a doctor she knew and trusted deliver her baby?  Or the nurse that came into my room when it looked a crime scene (dont’ ask) and merely rushed to MY aid rather than sigh because some serious cleaning was ahead of her.

Or the retail associate, that took my husband aside and mentioned that a store down the road had the shoes our son was desperately coveting. Even though he works on commission.  

And just like the federal workplace you find the good and the bad-yet assuming EVERYONE in that profession is at the lowest possible rung on the ladder is simply asinine-yep I said it.  And frankly, it’s insulting.

Yes, Meryl Streep is amazing, and yes she won the Cecil B. Demille award for lifetime achievement at the Globes. This award is given for outstanding contribution in the world of entertainment.  

And Mrs. Streep has indeed done that. She has entertained, but she has also made us-or at least me, think.

Kramer Vs Kramer is one of the first 'adult’ movies I remember watching. During my first watching, I admit I don’t remember much other than "Boy, this woman and this guy are good actors.“  I was about 10 at the time, and even I was caught up in the drama.  I watched it again one day when I was alone-Roy was out of town and the kids were all in school-and sick. And it was amazing.  one of the first movies to truly take a hard look at divorce and custody. One of the first movies to show a man learning to adjust not to a  wife’s death, but to her abandonment. It was bitter, and funny, and made me cry.

And oh, God…Sophie’s Choice.  Again, I watched it when I was younger, and I remember nothing other than my mother crying softly on the couch.  When I was older and rewatched it,as a mother, my heart broke, and broke, and broke….And it made me appreciate my life. It made me thankful my children will grow up happy and healthy.

Silkwood-about worker safety violations, and what it means to stand your ground and speak out.

Plenty, out of Africa, Heartburn, Postcards from the Edge.

The river Wild was insane! Not necessarily an Oscar worthy movie, but her desire to protect her children, and her family-made me cheer!

And The Bridges of Madison County-Oh, how I cried….

And then The Devil Wears Prada came on-WOW!  She was sooo deliciously bitchy and evil-so much fun.

mamma Mia! The Iron Lady, Julie and Julia, Doubt, 

Need I go on?

This woman is a legend, a triumph when it comes to entertaining us-whether it be making us laugh, or cry, or sympathize, or yes, even hate her.  She can do it all, and she does so with class.

When she went on state to accept her award-yes she gave a speech steeped in politics, but guess what?  Had she said what she said in her own living room, would anyone care?  NO, it’s because she used a platform-one she was given by the way-to speak her mind. To share her thoughts-and suddenly, this means she has no personality, no mind of her own, and she was out of line.

And yet, those same people complaining are using a platform they were given-social media to give THEIR opinions. Those opinions might be on politics, or Streep herself.

So what is the real issue here: Are they jealous that Streep’s platform reached a wider audience?  Are they mad because she spoke passionately about what she was feeling at the time, and many listened?

Insulting a celebrity for speaking their mind, while also speaking yours is hypocritical. Telling them to stick to what they know, while then giving your own political opinion-also hypocritical-after all last I checked, the many bashing her on social media are NOT politicians. (I’m speaking of the people I know personally that are speaking out against her)

In the end, her speech wasn’t perfect-I LIKE Football (Not as much as…) and I enjoy MMA, no need to knock other forms of entertainment. But it was real, and it was moving and it was sincere.

And in many ways-it was also right.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again-gotta watch what you say on Social Media.

Now, I’m not one to talk-I can run my mouth with the best of them, but I’m always careful how I phrase things.  I got by one maxim:

“If I won’t say it to someone’s face, don’t put it up on Social Media.”

Now, that gives me a wide berth, I’m a pretty in your face kinda gal.  I’m not afraid to debate politics, religion, etc-so long as it’s civil.  

But are you ok with the idea of a future employer seeing you call someone a f***in’ libtard?

If you’re looking to get into school-are you ok with the admissions officer seeing you curse and call people ignorant because they don’t hold the same views as you?

Are you ok with your kids seeing you insult someone you don’t know from a hole in the wall? (I have grown children, so mine are on social media)

Your parents? Grandparents?

It’s sad that our current political climate seems to mean it’s a free for all.  Debate politics, debate issues, laws, the election process, and the candidates, but understand that someone not agreeing with you doesn’t mean they are ignorant. It doesn’t give you the right to curse them out and insult their entire family tree.

What happened to adult discussion?

Roy and I had an unspoken agreement early on that we don’t discuss some things with family and friends.  Specifically Religion, Abortion and Politics.  They are hot button topics and I prefer to keep my opinions to myself at certain times.

Now, if you ask me straight up…I’ll tell you my views on them:

Religion-it’s a personal choice.  But I dislike hypocrites who think that going to church gives them free rein to be douchebags.  I think it’s more important to be a decent person than to pay lipservice.

Abortion-Personal Choice again.  But I’ll tell you straight up…that’s exactly what it should be-a personal CHOICE.

Politics-BOTH sides make mistakes and BOTH sides need to stop the posturing and get some stuff done!

There, those are our views.

Of the three, abortion is my hot button topic.  I had one at 17.  The specifics of how I ended up as a pregnant 17 year old aren’t important at this point in my life.  The details leading up to my pregnancy are behind me, and since it’s been over 21 years, I’ve made my peace with those decisions.

As far as my actual abortion.  I made up my mind and I stuck to it.  I didn’t waver, I didn’t wonder if I made a mistake.  Yes, there are moments when I think…"IF I didn’t choose abortion I would have a 20 year old now.“

But I look at my boys and can honestly say, I think my life turned out the way it was supposed to.  I made the best choice for ME.  I didn’t take you into account when I made my decision.  I didn’t worry about the Pope, or some religious group halfway across the country.  I had supportive parents, that let me talk it through with them, and they supported my decision.

And though I think it’s important to respect one another’s opinions, I take real issue-real deep seated issue with someone using a scared, young girl as a poster child for their religious views.

I’ve seen mud slung on both sides, but in the 20+ years I’ve spoken out about abortion rights, I’m proud to say I’ve never felt the need to be nasty.

I’ve never felt the need to jam MY views down someone else’s throat.

When Roy and I were engaged, I went to a local clinic, since we weren’t married I was not under his insurance yet.  Outside there were protesters-a man in a suit and two young girls holding babies.  The girls couldn’t have been older than 22.

My first thought is…really?  You feel the need to stand next to a major road with infants?  Sorry, not safe,

But my next thought is…who are you to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do?

I parked my car and walked around to get Addi out of his car seat.  He was about six months old.  The older gentleman started running over, and I could see his pamphlets flapping in the breeze.

I held my hand up and shook my head, "No thank you.”

He started to tell me that abortion was wrong, blah, blah, blah.  And I should just look at my son, see what a gift he is.

And so I did.

I saw Addi, happily sucking on his fingers, smiling at me.  Addi would wave his little hands around in excitement whenever I came near.

And I saw a little boy that would want his mother to stand up for her beliefs.

I thought about Corey in kindergarten and Joe in preschool, and thought they would rather have a mom that stood tall, than one who gave in.

I wanted to ask that man what HE was doing for the young girls that found themselves with an unplanned pregnancy.  I wanted to ask the young women, not much older than Corey is now how many kids they have adopted or found good homes for.

I wanted to remind them that adoption isn’t about giving adults children, it’s about finding children good homes (someone said that on Facebook the other day…thought that was a very apt way of looking at things).

But I didn’t.  I picked Addi up, and went about my business secure in my belief.

See, I think it’s perfectly fine for you to believe abortion is wrong, and for me to disagree. But I take issue with someone preaching damnation and offering no solution to the problem.

I can’t tell you how many times i’ve seen this.  My favorite was posted about two months ago.

(I’ll try to keep my own politics out of this and stick to the topic) I think most people were surprised when Trump won. I know I was.  And I was worried-still am-about what this would mean for this nation. What this would mean for my husband-who works (rather thanklessly I might add) for the federal government. What this might mean for my son-who is active duty military-with a POTUS that seems to have a trigger temper.  What would this all mean?

For Roy, I won’t lie-I don’t know if I’m worried about his position. See, he’s one of those young rising stars the government is always talking about hiring and then retaining. He’s smart, he’s forward thinking, but most importantly he’s a hard honest worker and people like and respect him.  What I am worried about, is that this man is doing the work of two, sometimes three and occasionally four people-what if he burns out?

For our son-I’m worried.  Our allies are being angered for no reason. Ok, I’m getting political…..but I worry about Joe.

For Corey-he’s a young gay man. The LGBQT community has fought long and hard-many have paid the ultimate price, for rights heterosexuals take for granted. Will his rights be in danger once again?  Or possibly revoked?

So, now back to this post.  Basically it started out good-saying that we should all work together to ensure the US continues to prosper. That division won’t get us anywhere-ok, so far so good.

And then it called anyone that was worried, that expressed concerns snowflakes. Or whiny.  Really?  SOOO, you want to bring people together, by insulting them.  I call that bullying.

And yet, it continues to be that way. 13 days into a new administration, and the left continues to be worried-with good reason in my opinion. While the right seems to back this new administration with no qualms.  Both sides have been rude, both sides have thrown out insults.

And I see time and time again, people saying not to let politics ruin friendships, but here is my issue.

Let’s say, we both have kids. That right there gives us something in common. Now, i’ll talk to anyone. I think I’m pretty open minded, but if we start talking, and I start to see that we have nothing in common-are we still gonna hang out?  Are we still gonna be buddies?  Probably not.

So, how does that translate into this situation-well, if I strongly believe in rights for the LGBQT community, and you disparage them-why would I want to be friends with you?

IF I strongly believe that working within the system to get things done in a timely and legally justified way is important to our way of life, and you think we can just do whatever we want and HOPE things don’t deteriorate-why would I want to be friends with you?

See, for me much of my political and moral ideas come from things that are deeply personal for me. I believe strongly in gay rights, because my son is gay and I don’t want to worry about him being marginalized for no reason other than you think his spouse should be name Jill instead of jack.  

I believe strongly in body autonomy, and vehemently dislike hypocrisy and that is why I believe strongly in a woman’s right to choose.

I am not white, I am a proud woman of a mixed racial heritage. My mother was the victim of racism, she was marginalized because of her background-should I be worried that is what’s coming around the bend again? Or will I be insulated because of who I married-a Caucasian man with blond hair and blue eyes?  These issues are important to me, and if you laugh them off or brush them aside, why would we be friends?

Now, don’t get me wrong-I’m not saying you have to agree with me, but there is a way to disagree that is respectful to one another.

I usually try to keep politics off my blog, though I have been known to address certain issues: Gay rights, abortion, equal pay, etc.  I don’t endorse candidates here.

But my very wise husband said something the other day, and I had to address it here:

DO YOUR RESEARCH!

I don’t care if you don’t like Hilary, but get the facts straight.

Think Trump is no good for this country, ok get the facts straight.

Aren’t sure about Jill Stein’s platform?  Ok, get the facts straight.

What is ignorant is making up information, give false information, half the story or just being dumb. Cause get real, guys-that doesn’t make you any better than the politicians (or would be politicians) that you are slamming.

Sooo, I make a pact with myself to spend more time giving in to my feelings of restlessness when it comes to writing…and than I don’t write for four day?  Go figure!

It could be because our timeline got moved up.

What timeline you ask?

Well, I’ll tell ya,  Hayden is a Freshman this year, Dean is in fifth grade-so he’ll start middle school next year, and Roy works about 60 miles from home. NOT horrible, until you factor in rush hour traffic.  Sometimes, Roy gets into the office in an hour an a half, sometimes it take twice that-my goal was to move the summer before Hayden’s junior year.  That would give him two years at a new high school, Dean would have two years at the middle school before moving into HS, but my husband is beat.  With the new position he accepted, he’s going in almost daily-and I know it’s hard on him.  So, we’re looking to move in just a few months!

Ugh, I said it out loud

We’ve been here so long, I forgot why I dislike the process.  Getting the house ready, finding a new house…and than there’s THE PURGE.

I decided to start small, something no one could have any say over-my closet.  I listed items on ebay, I put aside items for a yard sale-and felt accomplished until I looked at my closet.  Pretty sure it looks no different.  When did I accumulate so much stuff?  

To be fair, Roy’s side of the closet looks similar.  I tell the man he needs to purge and he gives me two t-shirts-out of the 50 he owns-though he only wears about 10.  He has a t-shirt that he wears constantly (I wash it, he wears it-vicious cycle) that I can see through-I kid you not.  It didn’t start out like that, he just wears it constantly!  To boot-it says Grooveshark (does anyone even remember what that is?) and he got it for free!  Not that there’s anything wrong with promotional swag-I love my pens, but when it’s starting to disintegrate, maybe it’s time to move on?

Now, for my case I realized I have way to many shirts with goofy sayings.  Some I bought for the specific purpose of basketball games-I have a few with sayings, or Hayden’s number, etc.  But most say ridiculous things like, “More Tacos please.”  I’m not sure why I need three shirts that say that-especially when all are just different shades of grey.  

And you’d think when the shirts hold no real sentimental value it would be easy to let go of-apparently, it is not.  You never know when you might find yourself in desperate need of tacos and maybe you’ve lost your voice?  I don’t know…

And let’s not even get in to my legging collection.  Now, in the winter I do wear them-daily for the most part.  I wear tunics and leggings, or a sweater and leggings, etc.  They’re warm and cute-the more colorful the better!  But I’m short, so specific brands fit me best-so why do I have pair after pair that are too big? 

I think there was a time when I bought clothes to make myself happy-I was feeling out of sorts, sad-and when I worked through that-I was left with a packed closet.  And so, THE PURGE commenced.

I truly hope the kitchen isn’t like this-or you’ll find me crying in the shower…